Let’s just start by saying being a mom isn’t easy and things don’t just come easily. We work our butts off not only for our selfs but for our children and our family. Whether your a single parent or a married one or young or old it’s never easy. Trust me mama’s your not alone! Being a working mom or a stay at home mom we all have our challenges and you should know your never ever alone even if you feel that way.
At some point we have all had our melt downs wondering can we really do this? Am I really meant to be a parent? Am I doing it all wrong? The answer is NO your not every parent is different and everyone is going to be judge I know I have been judged many times and it had got me second guessing stuff but you know what I am happy and my son is happy so is that really anyone else’s concerns how I’m doing it?
Yes, I am a young parent I had my son when I was 19 years old I am 24 years old now and I have learned so much since day one. I have gone through so many challenges which made me think I can’t do this, I have cried and I’ve laughed and I’ve gone through hell but I am still here. That little boy has kept me going he looks up to me and needs me I do anything for him but he is happy and thats all that matters. I am not a parent who can give him everything he wants I don’t have fancy things and a perfect life but we have all we need and that’s what matters.
I want other moms young or old to know that it will be tough but you can do it. It’s a long journey but know your not the only one and your never alone.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
I am a young parent and a lot you parents I know seem to be able to date or go out with friends and do a lot more then I seem to do and I don’t know how they do it.
Up until my son started school I chose to stay home with him as I felt like it was the right thing to do as I had the support and help to be able to stay home so I was very lucky. I also felt like it was the right thing to do in my eyes my mother always stayed home with us so it seemed weird to leave me child all day for most of the week. I know people do it all the time and it’s not a horrible thing to go out and work but in my eyes it just felt like the right thing.
Since my son started school I started working part time and I usually don’t get home until 630 most days so since I don’t see him all day until I get home I always feel like I should be going home to see my son and feel awful if I go out and do anything else unless I have to go to the store or something important. I feel bad making time for date night or going out to see my friends because I feel like the short time before he has to go to bed I feel like I should be playing with gim or helping him out with learning. Is this so wrong? Am I the only one who feels this way? I feel like some parents love the time away from there child and will go any chance they get. Which I understand I want to get away sometimes too but why do I always fee so guilty about it? Is there a way I can balance all of this?
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers that I wish I had but if you feel the same way as a mother or a father know that your not he only one and if you have any input on any of this I would love to hear your input or stories, it would make me feel a lot better knowing I’m not the only one feeling this way!
Sorry guys for not writing for a few days! I’ve been trying to write more but it was my sons birthday over the weekend and I felt like it was the longest weekend ever..haha
My son turned 5 this weekend! I still can’t believe it I feel like he should still be a little baby crawling around. When people say cherish the moments while you can with your little ones it truly is a statement you should listen too! Time goes by so fast but I am so great full and so blessed to been able to watch my little man grow up.
Anyways, besides all that lovey dovey stuff I am extremely exhausted! with such a big family we have so many parties for him this weekend and since he’s in school and he wanted his friends to be at his party I had to have a party with them and since my sons birthday is in October and it’s usually cold now I can’t just have them play in the backyard so I have to spend all this money on renting a place for his party with his friends. When did birthdays get so expensive 😥 seriously and now I have to worry about Christmas!
If anyone has ideas for birthday parties with little kids or stuff to do in your home with them for next year I’d love to hear ideas because I don’t know if I can do his every year!
To save money I made my sons cake his theme was Pokemon and of course he wanted a cool Pokemon cake and since I was busy and it’s just easier I first looked into someone making it for me and oh my goodness they wanted 300 hundred dollars for this cake!! they said because of all the details even though it really wasn’t that much detailing I’ve seen cakes with major detailing I can’t imagine what those cost 😖 so this is the cake I made myself and I’m quite proud of it considering I rushed it and it’s only been my second fondant cake I’ve ever made!
This weekend was a success even though it was super busy but I am happy my son had fun and that it’s over now! 🙂
If you want to see more pictures of myself and my son you can add me on instagram at _bethcarroll_ 😘
LET’S GET REAL HERE…
Now a days when raising a child it seems so difficult because it’s like we have to follow all these rules or were not the “perfect parent”were DOOMED to fail because we didn’t make our child eat that piece of broccoli that he has stared at for the last 30 mins at the table..
Really now, does that make me the WORST PARENT EVER! We read all of these articles online now telling us how the only good food for our children is organic, or don’t let your child run too much he might get to tired and pass out or something so rediculous. Like are they serious? The things they come up with. And now we all lie to each other saying yeah we do all that stuff we do the best for little johnny but really we know we don’t.
You know what I give my child that last lollipop when maybe they shouldn’t, I let him run crazy and make a mess, I let my child climb on things and maybe he will fall who knows, I dont gice him organic food and always make him eat all hos veggies..AND GOD FORBID I let him play too long on the ipad! 😰
Think about it, I’m a young parent and even when I was going up I didn’t have a whole list of rules because something JUST SOMETHING MIGHT happen to me. I climbed in trees or on something I shouldn’t, I ate too much junk food when I shouldn’t have and I barely ate my vegetables because they were my nightmare… well I’m still here aren’t I? Maybe I got hurt but I had fun and now o eat my veggies and not so much junk. I watched too much tv and I barely watch TV now. I slept with my mom pretty much all the time instead of my own bed and I don’t have issues sleeping on my own now.
My point is yeah we do a lot to keep our children safe and protect them and keep them healthy but there is nothing wrong with not being that “perfect parent”. Don’t let someone judge you as a parent because they do something different from you, whatever works for your life style do it. Obviously if it’s practical and not only giving your child junk and letting them jumps from and 10 foot slide haha. I’m just saying there is nothing wrong with not forcing them to eat ALL there veggies compromise with them. Let them have that bag off chips or climb the tree, if they get a tummy ache or fall they will learn. Kids learn from mistakes so let them make them there human. We made plenty of mistakes growing up and we try to not let what mistakes we made happen to our kids but sometimes they just need to figure it out them selfs and we’re here to help.
Maybe you were in a grocery store and your child starts screaming and shouting because you won’t get them that one toy that they want SO much and can’t live without! Or maybe your just at home asking for a simple task to be done like clean up their toys and they turn it into a huge melt down like it’s the end of the world, no matter what the situation is there is one moment almost everyday where we want to pull out our hair or scream and shout because of the way our children act. But how will they learn if we just scream back at them? What is that showing them? Maybe that’s showing them if we scream and shout that it’s okay for them to scream and shout when they don’t like something too.
Don’t get me wrong we all slip and go over the edge on our bad days when things have just gotten to much and we yell back and punish them it just makes us human what parent is perfect, we have all forgotten things and let your temper get the better of us but that’s what’s so great about it is that we can show our children that we make mistakes too and get upset but we can show them how to fix those behaviours when we get in those moods or situations, how to make things better.
Just today my temper slipped with my boy today just because of a toy. He wanted me to fix it for him and it was missing a piece and he kept screaming at me telling me I didn’t need the piece but I kept telling him it did otherwise it won’t stay together and it got to the point where he got so mad at me he hit my arm and because he was already yelling it got me more upset and I screamed and yelled at him back. Afterwards I felt like the worse mother for going off on my little boy like that. I took a few minutes before going back to him and even though he wasn’t being nice to me either I came to him and apologized for getting so upset and explained that I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did and then I explained that he also shouldn’t have gotten so upset with me when I was simply trying to explain why the toy wouldn’t go back together. We talked it out and obviously gave each other million hugs and kisses after.
Even though my child is only 4 when you sit down and talk to your child about things they will understand and they will come to you more. Even when my son was 1 if he did something bad I always sat there and explained what he did wrong and eventually they will understand just because they are young doesn’t mean they aren’t getting it. Just saying no to them or I don’t like that isn’t going to always help you especially if they don’t understand why your saying no or why you don’t like that.
Instead of just instantly getting upset and letting our children getting so worked up or maybe the’re already worked up try some other “calm down” tricks:
We love our children to the moon and back so we want the best for them and that also means the best behaviour from them. We can’t make them perfect but we can always help them through anything. 👊
Now a days social media is everything most of us all go on some kind of device to go on some sort of social media and maybe not even one. We see all the perfect pictures of everyone and everyone’s success, how there body is perfect to the T and there make up looks better then I can ever get it. Even that perfect family we see all the time on instagram always doing stuff together and so happy… well if we’re always seeing that how isn’t it hard for us to be happy with our selfs?
People tell me all the time that I must be the best mom because they see all the happy pictures of my son and I and all the stuff we do or how good I always look. Well most pictures I take with my son I have to take 50 before I can even get a decent one and I’m only going to take pictures if I look good that day I’m not going to post pictures when I’m in sweats and my hair is a mess and haven’t washed my hair. No one sees my beat down car I drive or everything I don’t have. Even that fitness trainer on Facebook or instagram there not going to show you the bad food they eat,you don’t see everything behind pictures and posts because everyone just posts all the good you don’t see the bad. We all have good in our lives but we also have bad in our lives too, we are not all perfect no matter how rich someone is or how much stuff someone has. Let others inspire you but never let someone make you unhappy with your life because you only see the good.
So go eat that donut you want to eat and be happy!
“Today is not just any ordinary day. Today is a day that matters. Today you will have the choice to make a difference in your life and those around you. Today you will have the choice to smile rather than frown, be grateful rather than selfish, lift up rather than put down, accept rather than reject and love rather than hate. Today you will have the choice of seeking hope for the future or remain in the hopelessness of the past. Today you have the choice to laugh or cry. Both will make you feel better. Today you will have the undivided attention of the King of the Universe. At that time you can ask Him anything you want. You can ask for help, plead for a friend or just enjoy His presence. It all depends on you. Whichever you choose, today matters. Make the choice to make it a day worth living. And don’t forget, tomorrow is another day.”
Being judged always sucks because most people judge by what they see, they won’t even get to know you before they start saying mean things or hurtful things. People judge because of their insecurities or because your doing something outside their comfort zone. It’s really sad to say we have probably all judged someone at some point in our lives for whatever reasons.
Why I decided to talk about being judged is because I am only 24 years old and I have a son who’s almost 5 I had him when I was 19 years old so of course I always go looks and people talking about me because I looked to young to be a mom. What people didn’t know was that I was a good enough mother at 19 then I would have been at 30 years old they didn’t know me or what my life was like. They judged because of what I looked like because I wasn’t a 30 year old mother.
When I had my son I just finished high school and like most 19 year olds they are out drinking and parting and doing whatever they wanted. Of course I was judged I had people who were upset that I could ever think of keeping him and I did have others who did support me. I made my choice though because I knew I would step up to the plate and be the mother he needed. My mom was with me through the entire thing and she always supported me but a few months after he was born we found out my mom had cancer. So from then on I was not only a young parent taking care of my son I was also taking care of my mother ho could barely do anything for herself. I stayed home to care for the both of them and that was never easy.
Where most people my age have the freedom to do whatever they want I decided to be a good parent and stay home with my son and my mother to take care of both of them. I sacrificed a lot of my social life which never really bothered me because I was glad to help and be a good mother. I did all the cleaning and shopping and meal prepping and taking care of a baby and my mom. If you just saw me on the street no one would know that most people would probably think I am a young mom so I probably leave my son at home every weekend to go out well guess what that doesn’t happen often so you can’t always judge a book by its cover.
I have gone through so much the past few years and I have only grown stronger since day one. I am proud of the mother I have become and whatever you have gone through you should never let people judge you because they don’t know your story.
My son is going on a field trip in 2 weeks before school ends and because the permission forms came home I emailed the teacher telling her I would like to volunteer and go on the trip with them and she told me she would get back to me. We got the form and a paper saying they needed volunteers and to bring back the filled out form I again filled out the form also stating I would like to volunteer. I haven’t heard anything back but what really bothers me is that other moms want to go to but even though I told the teacher a head of time I probably still won’t be picked to come because of my age and the way I look most likely she will pick an older mom who she thinks is more responsible. How sad is that?
Now that my son has started school I started working with kids in a daycare and I have just applied to school to become an ECE. I am very capable of coming and taking care of kids I do it everyday but his teacher doesn’t know that because she just judges what she sees.
My point is that please don’t judge people before getting to know them and never let people put you down when they don’t know your story. This is the world we live in and it truly is sad but keep your chins up it only makes us stronger. 👊
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
How do you do it? I was a stay at home mama until my son started JK and then I started working with kids in a daycare. I get my weekends off but still all the time I keep thinking I’m missing out because I feel like I should be the one picking him up after school and being with him once he gets home and taking him to activities after school and now that summer is coming I feel like I’m going to miss so much 😦 . I have tried looking for work I can do from home because I know some moms do this but I could never find anything to make enough money. Don’t get me wrong I love working with other kids and the job that I do but I just always feel like I should be home working. Am I the only who feels this way? Do you have any suggestions or comments I would love to hear!